No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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