He kissed a someone with a penis
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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