I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
