Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
