If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize