you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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