i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
