Taylor Swift is so right about you.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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