Will you blow on my dice?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
