The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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