No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
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A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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