i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
