I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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