Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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