Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
