Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
