i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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