So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm determined to sit on that face.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
