My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
