fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
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my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
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So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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