My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
