Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
