Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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