stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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