I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
