You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
