You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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