I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
