Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
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The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I will be naked everywhere
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
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WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Damn victory sex feels great
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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