We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
