Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
