And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
