I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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