were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
