I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
The air taste purple.
Randomize
