shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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