"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
