so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
you never un-have a 4some
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
