But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
