So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
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