What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
