I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
