Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
