Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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