He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
