I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize