Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
