i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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