Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
