Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
there was a trapeze. enough said
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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