Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
