The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it