Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize