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YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
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