her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us