My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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