Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
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